永遠に見ている、あの　ひるなかの流星
by Sakurau121
Summary: Title: "The thing that I have been watching forever.. that daytime shooting star." Suzume, 2nd year at university in Tokyo, a woman studying literature in hopes of becoming a writer. Though they slowly lost contact ever since he left her highschool for abroad three years ago, she never forgot him, nor the words he gave her. So when she walks into her 1st history class... Shizume.
1. Chapter 1

_Prologue _

"_I have to go," he sighs, his hand reaching out to stroke her cheek one last time. _

"_I know," she replies back, already missing his touch, ignoring the tears which were now trickling down her face. "I- I love you. You, you know that.. right?" _

_He tries his best to smile and put on a brave face for her, he too now close to tears. _

"_Of course!" he says, with exaggerated confidence, before smirking and winking at her. "How could you not love such a awesome person like me?" _

_He turns away from her, his smile already gone, the tears which he had been holding back now flowing uncontrollably he forces himself to start walking away… _

"_Sen- Shis- SATSUKI!" _

_His feet freeze at the sound of her voice, a voice so full of energy and promise, and turning he finds himself being pulled by two small yet surprisingly strong hands, and soon a pair of lips, stealing from him what he had wanted, for so long, to give to her. She lets go quickly however, having only been taken over by impulse and unnatural confidence, and looking up at him, he observes that she is blushing and yet smiling at him, no worry etched on her face, none of the pain which he had caused her to suffer so much in the past._

"_You better be prepared, because when you come back, I'll be an even better and more amazing Suzume. I'll be a strong and independent young woman, just you wait!" she says with confidence, smiling up at his dumbfounded expression. _

"_Hey, have I surprised you?" she asks cheekily when he gives no answer. _

"_You always do," he replies quietly, staring down at her with such intense loving in his eyes that she forgets to smile back. "And you were already a strong and independent young woman. That's what made me fall in love with you." _

_Smiling at the surprised look on her face, he pulls her towards him, wrapping his arms around her tightly and breathing in her scent one last time. _

"_I'll wait for you Chun-Chun, for as long as it takes. Right now I want you to live, have fun and have the best possible experiences of your life. I will always be there, waiting for you, at the end of it all…." _

_And with that he let her go, giving her one last brave smile, not caring if she saw his tears before turning and walking into the unknown, a future he hoped would work out for her and him. He would always love her, that much he knew for sure. Even if she forgot, even if he forgot, they would always love each other, no matter the distance or time… _


	2. Chapter 2

PAGE 1

September 2014, Tokyo

Suzume looked up at the clear sky, smiling to herself as she walked through the crowded street in Omotesando, Tokyo. Would I see my star today? She wasn't a little naive country girl anymore, that's for sure…

Looking to her left she noticed a group of highschool students leaving school, a group of girls bunched together, laughing at some inside joke, a group of boys, strutting about in hopes of impressing them, and of course the loners who walked independently, but felt some sort of mutual understanding with the other socially awkward introverts in their path.

I was lucky to have the friends I had, thought Suzume as she smiled at one lone girl who, after having been pushed by one of the rowdy boys and bumped into her, apologised excessively before running off, her braided hair blowing in the wind. I was lucky, and yet….

Suzume's smile slackened but she frowned and tried to chase the dark thought away from her mind. No, no, that was in the past, concentrate on the now, which always counts more than anything else. She proceeded to take a deep breath before speeding up her walk, aware that she was already late and that everyone would have already arrived at the meeting point. Seeing some of them again after such a long time was starting to make her actually nervous…

….

"Suzume!" came a voice that she knew all too well. Although Suzume had by now been living by herself for two years in Tokyo, she still couldn't wrap her head around which shop inside the popular mall they were supposed to meet at.

"Huh?" thought Suzume, spinning around on the spot, looking behind and sideways but still not seeing her friends.

"SUZUME!" came a collection of voices this time, and looking up, she saw all of them standing right in front of her.

"What's wrong with you, idiot," spoke a beautiful young woman with long flowing hair, her voice not matching her appearance at all. "ARE YOU BLIND AS WELL AS STUPID?!"

"Yuyuka chan!" exclaimed Suzume, running up to her friend and squeezing her tightly. Suddenly she felt like she was her dense fifteen year old self again, having just arrived to the nebulous and intimidating city. "Your hair?! It's so beautiful… and long…"

"Oh, so I get not exclamations of love then?" came a melodious voice from the left, and seeing Monika, her hair curly as ever, Suzume jumped on her and squeezed her tightly as well, talking into her shoulder. "You are so beautiful now, like a model! Well you always were!"

"Suzume.. Suzume…" chocked Monika, patting her on the back. "Can't breathe…"

Everyone laughed collectively at the scene in front of them and after saying hello to everyone, Suzume suddenly realised that one significant person was missing.

"Oh Mamura?" spoke Inukai, observing Suzume's look of subtle worry etched on her face as she counted heads, "He'll be here, don't worry, he just has to finish up his job. We should go ahead though, he knows where we're going."

"And where are we going?" asked Suzume, feeling a little stupid and ignorant as they began to start walking.

"Secret!" spoke everyone at the same time, and laughed at her reaction, a face riddling with annoyance at their teasing. Some things never change.

…..

"Oh… my… god…." breathed Suzume, her mouth wide open as the biggest assortment of sashimi and sushi she had ever seen in her life was put before them on the table.

"Haha, I knew you would respond like that," spoke Nana, laughing at Suzume as her jaw dropped, staring at the fish as if she were about to start drooling.

"You haven't changed a bit," giggled Monika, taking some tuna and lifting her glass to give a cheer. "To our high school year group, to friendships new and old, and may ours continue on for the years to come!"

"KAMPAI!"

"I think she's changed," spoke Yuyuka, staring down at her drink. "Your hair's longer too, and a lot straighter than it used to be. You dress like a city girl now, and it seems that finally my influence has rubbed on you, because you're wearing make-up today."

"Oh no," replied Suzume hastily, "I usually don't but today was special so…"

"Talking of changes," spoke Nana slyly, "I've heard a certain someone who was in our year has hooked up with an old ex-boyfriend again, even though she told me quite clearly that she would refrain from dating during university. I wonder who that could be?"

As the table looked around, everyone eyes landed on Inukai and Monika, who were now both looking as red as lobsters.

"What?!" exclaimed Yuyuka, staring at them incredulously. "How on earth did you meet up again after all this time? You only dated for a short time in high school I swear!"

"Well," mumbled Inukai, staring at anywhere but the people surrounding him, "we sort of chatted through the internet and stuff, and then well Monika told me that she actually never got ov…."

He abruptly stopped, unable to continue, which Monika responded to by hastily continuing his sentence. "W-We didn't realise that we still liked each other and that we had probably given up too early when we were younger, so… Well, the point is we're together again!"

She then proceeded to down her drink and shout at the waiter for another.

"Sounds a bit silly to me," murmured Yuyuka, "although I'm happy for you and glad that you've sorted it out."

"You didn't give up on each other," said Nana thoughtfully, chewing on a piece of scallop, "I like that…"

"I think it's beautiful!" proclaimed Suzume, staring at both of them, now secretly holding hands under the table. "You believed that you could find each other again! You made it happen! That is the definition of love, isn't it?"

Everyone stared at Suzume as she breathed in and out heavily, smiling at them and yet looking so terribly sad at the same time.

"Hmm," spoke Yuyuka, staring at Suzume with a blank expression before looking back at Inukai and Monika. "Well, you guys have fans here so… you better not disappoint us."

"We won't!" blurted out Inukai loudly, and, against Monika's will, brought their hands out from under the table so that they were exposed for everyone to see. "I won't give up on her, and I won't let her go, not this time."

"Inukai…" spoke Monika, turning to look at him with surprisingly gentle affection.

"Well," sighed Nana, now glancing at Suzume. "I'm guessing Suzume must be getting quite a few numbers, now that she's become a such a city lady and actually wears heels. I haven't heard anything since high school but the last thing I remember is you and Mamura separating at the end of second year and then staying friends after guys were so calm throughout it all, no drama or ridiculousness, unlike _some people_," she finished, glaring at her friend and, now, no longer ex-boyfriend.

"Oh," spoke Suzume, suddenly feeling very self-conscious and surprised that the conversation had suddenly spot-lighted on her. "Well, I've been busy with writing and haven't had much time for tha-"

"She's holding up for the right guy," intercepted Yuyuka. "Right Suzume? A good, suitable guy?"

"Well, I guess, doesn't everyone want that," murmured Suzume, a little annoyed that Yuyuka had read her mind, just as she always used to do.

"No, no, not necessarily," said Nana, a smirk on her face. "A bad boy isn't that bad either, right? Although I always like the older-"

"They're fun I'm sure, but in the end, a perfect guy is what you want," said Monika, smiling and giving a quick glance at Inukai, causing him to blush furiously.

"When is Mamura going to get here?" sighed Inukai with frustration as the girls laughed at him, "It's hard being the only guy here."

"Speaking of which, where's Minagawa, Yuyuka?" asked Nana.

"Oh, he couldn't come today. Busy with work. Bit annoying really, I wish he wasn't such a workaholic," replied Yuyuka, pursing her lips.

"But he's doing it all for you I bet," said Inukai with a smile. "He always was working hard in high school, though most people couldn't see it. I always remember that he really cared about you, more than most guys our age had the capacity to. I knew you guys would keep it together, even after we all went our separate ways."

"Yes, that's true," spoke Yuyuka, finally giving a fully genuine smile. "It's a bit unnerving at times, how intense he is. But that's way I love him."

"Shame that Sarumaru couldn't come though," said Monika, "He's been so busy, studying abroad with all that charity work, actually studying english and so on! I didn't expect that from him at all."

"Yes, I know, when I found out I was so surprised," said Nana. "I mean, this was Sarumaru, who was always playing video games, haha! People actually do really surprising things from time to time. I felt the exact same thing when Shishio sensei left for America as a job exchange. When he first told the class I thought it was a joke! And then he decided to stay there!"

Suzume had been reaching for her glass just as his name was spoken and upon hearing it, slid her hand in shock, causing her drink to knock over, the contents spilling onto Yuyuka's lap.

"SUZUME!" yelled Yuyuka as her dress got wet. "Oh my god, I only just got this. You silly, clumsy little nincompoop! Come on, help me get this fixed."

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," exclaimed Suzume, wiping up the liquid on the table with serviettes, now feeling like that poor girl who had bumped into her earlier in the day. How was she any different to her, to what she was before? She was still just a silly fifteen year old girl on the inside…

"Come on," sighed Yuyuka, pulling Suzume's hand and getting up to walk to the ladies. As they walked away, Nana turned to her friends, who had kept their gaze on their disappearing figures.

"Is it true that something happened between Shishio sensei and Suzume during her first year at high school?"

"I don't know if I'm really in the position to answer that question Nana," said Inukai with an apologetic smile before jumping as his phone abruptly started vibrating. "All I'll say is I think she definitely liked him, at least that's what Mamura said when I last met him four months ago."

"Is it Mamura?" asked Monika, peering at his phone.

"Yeah," replied Inukai, staring at the message. "He can't come after all, some sort of crisis at home apparently, who knows, it's a short message."

"You- you don't think it's because Suzume…" asked Nana hesitantly.

"No, no it's not that. They've met several times since high school, so no awkwardness that. No, he says that there's something up with his brother so…"

"Well, that's a shame," spoke Monika with a little vigour, trying to lift the strange mood. "We've got three people missing."

"You make up for that," whispered Inukai in Monika's ear unexpectedly, a smirk on his face, causing her to flinch and blush once more.

"Ugh, guys, we're in a restaurant," moaned Nana. "Please try and behave like sensible adults and not horny teenagers."

….

"So," spoke Yuyuka, turning around to face Suzume, a small smile on her face.

"So….. what?" asked Suzume, blinking back at her friend.

"Oh don't give me that," replied Yuyuka, her smile dropping and now looking angry. "You told me seven months ago when we last met that you were over it, that you were over him!"

"Shh, shh, your voice is loud!" said Suzume hoarsely, turning around in fear of someone coming in.

"What are you worried about?" asked Yuyuka, staring at the door incredulously before coming up to her friend, placing her hands on Suzume's shoulders. "Listen to me, okay? You're not Chun-Chun anymore," she observed the fleeting look of pain flash across her friend's face as she spoke the nostalgic, dust covered name that nobody used but _him_, "you're not in high school anymore, it's over. Even if you saw him again, what would happen? You've changed, you're an adult now, not that little girl still innocently in love with her homeroom teacher, the person he still envisions you to be. Do you understand?"

"I know, I know," sighed Suzume, her eyes closed, pulling Yuyuka's hands gently off her shoulders and turning around. "It's just… I have thought about him, of course, but it's the first time in a long time that some who actually knew him spoke his name, talked about him. It was a shock because suddenly I realised that he was real, that he wasn't just some faded photograph of a dead person or something, he was actually…"

"Suzume," intercepted Yuyuka, now patting her dress with tissues and water. "If you can't let go, even when he hasn't been in front of you after all this time, then you have only two options."

Something about Yuyuka's almost defeatist attitude made her turn around and stare at her friend, who was now folding her arms and staring at the ground.

"You have to either find a new love, force yourself to engage with other men, be it purely for conversation or something more, just so you can get him out of your system, or you have to find him."

Suzume blinked several times, hearing the distant sound of taxis outside, footsteps on the pavement, the clattering of dishes and her friends laughing just beyond the door.

What did she just say?

"Wha-"

"I mean you will have to inflict pain on yourself," spoke Yuyuka, now staring at Suzume with eyes full of pain and love, "You have to force yourself to have the worst experience possible by meeting him. To prove that there is no future with that man, that you've both moved on in your lives. To see that he's different, that you're different. To wake yourself up to the reality that you are no longer the same people who suffered from falling in love at the wrong place and at the wrong time."

"But what if we're not different?" whispered Suzume desperately, looking into her Yuyuka's eyes, unable to lie to her closest friend.

"You can't move on if you keep on ignorantly wishing like this. It's not love Suzume, and I don't want you to waste your life on a shadow."

"Why are you saying this?" retorted Suzume, a pain starting to form in her chest as she stared at the ground.

"Because who else is going to tell you Suzume," replied Yuyuka gently with surprising warmth. "I care about you too much, that's why."


	3. Chapter 3

PAGE 2

_The start of a new semester…. Hopefully it will be even better than the last… _

Taking a deep breath, Suzume opened the door of her apartment with purpose, her bag, which was full of pens, paper and books, held tightly in her right hand. A clean slate, and hopefully a good class. It was a new subject that she taking this morning, a class which was introduced in second year, not compulsory, but nevertheless intriguing. While history was not a major part of Suzume's literature degree, she felt that it was a vital part of her education, if she was to work her way towards becoming a professional writer.

The morning breeze was soothing on her face as she walked briskly towards her nearest subway station, although the sky was cloudy and grey. The train was crowded as always, but Suzume had gotten used to the business; the sweaty, tired looks on people's faces, the accidental stomping of feet every time the train lurched, the germs on the handrails, the blazing noises coming from earphones, so loud that you wondered what song they were playing… The joys of urban life.

The university campus was relatively close to the station, which everyone was rather grateful for, as morning sessions were usually the worst and arriving late to seminars was not acceptable. For Suzume however, walking was no trial, for she often walked two or three miles to school everyday in her hometown, so her legs rather enjoyed the exercise. Around her various students were running past, no doubt late for a lecture of some sort, looking either hungover or suffering from lack of sleep. Suzume smiled as she entered through the main entrance, wondering whether any of her friends would be in campus.

"Suzume!"

Turning around at the sound of a masculine voice, she smiled as a familiar face approached her. With slightly grown out floppy brown hair, and wearing, as always, a snuggly sweater, Taiji looked like his usual self, which put Suzume's heart at ease, after seeing so many friends who had changed so much since the last time she'd seen them.

"Taiji," spoke Suzume, "you look well."

"Oh, thanks," stuttered Taiji before smiling, "not great weather today though, huh?"

"No, unfortunately it's not that great," replied Suzume, looking outside as the sky turned darker and rain started to fall, the students outside now running faster than they had been. "We'd better hurry though, I'm guessing you're taking the history class?"

"Yeah, I am! You too? I heard that the teacher's changed," said Taiji as they walked up the stairs to the second floor. "The previous teacher had to retire apparently."

"Really? It must have happened recently. On my schedule it still has Mr Nakigawa as the teacher."

"Well, I guess it ain't Mr Nakigawa anymore," spoke Taiji knowingly before opening the door to the history class. "I guess this is it."

"Yeah, I guess so," replied Suzume blandly, staring into the room, half full with students settling down.

"'Teacher' isn't here yet," spoke Taiji sarcastically, "let's sit down before he or she gets here. They might think we came late."

Suzume nodded and together they went to the back of the room, behind where most of the students, who sat in the middle, were. Only a few decided to sit at the front. Most people wouldn't usually sit there, let alone when they didn't know who the teacher was going to be. Sitting at the back meant you didn't have to hold your concentration twenty four seven. Sitting at the front was tiring, as well as terrifying. Plus, students often teased those who were viewed as teacher's pets, and Suzume never wanted to have another experience like that ever again….

"What kind of person do you think it's gonna be?" asked Taichi as Suzume slouched down, opening her bag which she had put down on the floor.

"No idea," replied Suzume with a sigh as she searched for her phone.

"I hope it's someone interesting. I've had enough of these university 'professors', prancing around like know-it-alls, droning on and on lifelessly, class after class. Really takes the fun out of the subject you know?"

"I don't really care to be honest," replied Suzume, now searching for her reading glasses. "I have all the material here in the books so a the teacher isn't really important , but it's just that taking the class is the only way to take the exams."

"Hmm," said Taiji nebulously, a smirk on his face as he observed the students around him, the door to the classroom opening as Suzume continued to search for a pen.

As she stared into her bag, scavenging for a pen, frustrated beyond belief that she had forgotten the most fundamental thing, her stationary case, she heard the door close and the students, particularly the females, start to chatter urgently to one another. Suddenly the atmosphere felt ten times more alive than before, and the noise level had risen significantly. Taiji rolled his eyes as he looked down at a girl sitting below them, her eyes wide open, smiling at the teacher as she giggled with her neighbour who wore the same expression.

"I think you might care now Suzume, once you take a look at this newbie teacher," muttered Taiji as he stared at the youngish unprofessor-like man who had walked in, now writing something on the blackboard. "The women are going to go positively nuts for him."

"Really," replied Suzume sarcastically as she put on her thick-framed glasses.

"You two at the top!"

Suzume grasped the edge of her table tightly as she felt her heart suddenly skip a beat, her eyes wide as she stared down at her high-heels. No, she thought, before slowly shaking her head. Just your imagination… Yuyuka has filled your head up with him, ever since that conversation three days ago you've suddenly reverted back.. You hear him everywhere now..

"Suzume," murmured Taiji urgently, concern etched in the tone of his voice. "Suzume, he's gesturing us to move down and come closer to the rest of the class."

Suzume looked to her right at Taiji, who stared at her worriedly, his hand resting on her arm.

"Oh, right, right, of course," stammered Suzume, giving a quick smile, gathering her things and taking a deep breath before raising her head, her eyes however still cast down to the floor, refusing to look up. She was scared to look up… to find out who was there….. No, no, it was impossible, silly, ridiculous. It could not get more ridiculous than this. A stupid cliche, a unbelievable scenario, it could not possibly be him.

Following Taiji's figure, she sat down beside him, now closer to the front, her head still cast down as she set her bag down.

"That's better, now I can see-"

Silence filled the room as the teacher's voice faltered, and Suzume felt her heart now thumping furiously in her chest. It was… It was.. There was no denying it… But why, she thought exasperatedly, why now, here?!

Lifting her head slowly, she felt her face screw up and frown as she found herself staring into the green eyes of a ghost, a man who had been haunting her thoughts for the past three years. Around Suzume students, including Taiji, stared at her expectantly with ignorant expressions, murmuring to each other, wondering why she wore such a strange expression on her face.

She felt herself flinch as she heard something clatter to the floor, breaking the weird silence.

Shishio stood before her, looking exactly as he always did, his hair a little shorter, an expression of utter shock and bewilderment etched on his face. His heavy breathing echoed across the room, his chest rising up and down, still wearing the same sort of tie and shirt that he often wore when he was her teac….

His right hand lied loosely at his side as he stared at the girl, no, woman sitting in front of him among the students. The pen which had previously been held confidently in his hand was now rolling across the floor.

"Su-," he stammered, causing everyone's gaze to turn back to him, away from the round-faced student.

"Chun-Chun?"


	4. Chapter 4

Author's note: Hey guys :D so thanks for the follows and reviews, it's really nice to have feedback - please keep this going! I sort of fucked up the tenses in this chap so apologises! :( anyway, happy reading guys!

PAGE 3

As Shishio closed his eyes, breathing deeply as he stretched, collapsing back into his chair in exhaustion, he recalled how last night he had been dragged, against his will by Yukichi and Tsubomi, to the local bar to celebrate his return to Japan and new job. Needless to say, despite his attempts to get back early, his rather unhelpful friends ended up keeping him up till three o'clock in the morning talking about America, and how the students there had security checks every morning and that, for whatever bizarre reason, they kept their outdoor shoes on inside school.

Shishio rubbed his face and groaned out loud. This was not the way to start your first day of your job. Despite his best attempts by the mirror, his bed hair had refused to cooperate. Just walking through the staff room earlier had drained whatever two or three percent of energy he had had left in his system. He recalled the whispering, the glancing and giggling which had surrounded him as he walked through the university campus for the first time, which, in itself, was a rather odd experience, as he had forgotten just how different high school and university felt like.

The tension as he reached to open the door to the staffroom had been so high that his hands became clammy. He could hear voices inside and though he had been expecting to feel nervous, it was much more than he had been anticipating.

"Sasaki sensei told me that she saw him coming in for his interview a while ago!"

"I heard about that - apparently he's really handsome!"

"He is - and already well known for it seems. I've had several students of mine come up to me this morning in the hall, asking who he is."

"Let's just hope that he'll be able to control his classes - these students won't pass their exams by merely goggling at their teacher and not listening to what he's actually saying."

"Oh have some faith Hisaishi sensei! There must be a very good reason why he's managed to get this job, especially at such a young age."

"Well, until he proves it, I am otherwise unconvinced."

"He's managed to brighten the mood in the campus this morning anyway - not something I think _you _could do very easily Hisaishi san!"

Shishio took his opportunity as the professors burst out laughing to push open the door rather forcefully.

"Shishio sensei?"

He recalled how the laughing had ceased and they had turned to stare at him. Some looked a little surprised, some as if they were happy to see him, and others - not so much.

"Shishio sensei!"

"Wha- Sorry, sorry."

Jumping in his seat, Shishio opened his eyes to find himself staring at Hisaishi sensei, who was standing in front of him, wearing a rather disapproving look on his face.

"You are aware, I am sure, that you have a class in five minutes? I only ask as you are new, but please be well aware of your own schedule from now on Shishio sensei. Need I remind you that tardiness is not tolerated here - not from the students, and certainly not from the staff."

"Of course, of course," muttered Shishio before rising from his seat, a little too quickly, as he ended up leaning against the table a little before reaching out the necessary materials.

"Shishio sensei. I will just give you a little warning," spoke Hisaishi sensei in a low voice as Shishio turned to leave. "This is not America, and this is certainly not high school. You are teaching adults, not children. Therefore, you must treat them as such. Do you understand?"

"Of course," replied Shishio, a little perplexed as he stared back at Hisaishi sensei, who only gave a brief ghost of a smile before moving away.

As Shishio left the staffroom, thinking over what had just transpired, he heard the distinct sound of heels clicking on the floor, quickly becoming in synch to his feet.

"Don't worry about Hisaishi-san, he means well. He's just a bit of a cynic."

Shishio turned to see Sakurai sensei, one of those who had seemed kind-hearted upon first acquaintance, walking beside him, presumably also off to teach a class.

"Really? I didn't notice," replied Shishio, prompting Sakurai sensei to laugh.

"Well, I'm sure you won't have any trouble winning him over eventually. I've heard many good things about you."

"Is that so," spoke Shishio, doubt riddled in his words. "Are you off to teach a class as well?"

"Oh no," replied Sakurai sensei breezily as they kept walking down the hall.

"Then why-"

"Just making sure you know where the class is. It's a bit of a nightmare here since all the doors look the same and we have no one to show people around so - oh we're here!"

"Oh," stammered Shishio, finding himself in front of a brown door, which, otherwise, indeed looked completely identical to almost every other door they had passed.

"Well, good luck. I'm sure it'll go great! Go get those electrical impulses running in those sleepy brains of theirs!"

"Thanks," replied Shishio, before turning to face up to his first real challenge. He was pretty sure that he was going to be the biggest sleepy brain in the class today.

….

When he had opened the door to his first class, he had taken a deep breath and told himself to be confident and get a grip. Of course, that grip had melted into nothingness when he laid his eyes on the sparrow, sitting among the sea of pigeons, or so he would describe it to himself cynically later. Everything, literally everything stopped in that moment, be it time, space or air, and he was sure, quite sure, that he had altogether stopped breathing.

Yet as he had heard the blunt 'clunk' of the pen hitting the floor, violently dragging him of out the haze he had been in, he was sure that this was no dream, no nightmare. As he sensed the class' heavy gaze on him, the cogs in his mind slowly started turning. It was like some cheap melodrama. Unreal. Impossible. How could she be here. Why…

He shouldn't have said anything, he shouldn't have even said her name and he definitely shouldn't have blurted out that name which had now become some sort of taboo within his mind, words which he was sure he would never utter again.

But he did. Because, being the man that he was, he hadn't let go. Of course he hadn't.

Surprise, surprise.

Which was why he placed both hands on the table in front of him and, looking down at the textbook in front of him, told the class to look at the introductory pages and first chapter, which would be discussed when he returned shortly, before looking straight up into distinct blue eyes which he knew had been fixed on him this entire time.

"Yosano san, is it? Please follow me," he spoke in a dead-pan voice, which he knew startled her slightly as she blinked several times before jerkily rising from her seat.

He turned away, not wishing to wait and proceeded towards the door, his heart thumping in his chest so hard that breathing felt laborious. Holding the door open, he stared out into the hall as he felt, once again, the whispering and muttering surrounding him and closing in on him.

What was he doing. Why did he say that?

More importantly, what was she doing here?! It couldn't just be a coincidence.

As the door shut, he walked towards the opposite wall, glancing down at her shadow which was casting down beside him, it's pose tense and rigid like wood.

What the hell was he going to say to her.


	5. Chapter 5

Author's note: AAAAHHHHH! Guys, only two chapters left. However it ends, I'll accept it - just wish that it had been longer. I hope to the future Yamamori's works will get more recognition and be made into animes or movies. Till then, I will keep enjoying her mangas, which, to me, really are original and interesting ;-)

Btw, here's my video - you can guess what it's about haha.

watch?v=RKl-Tyg-B44&list=UUO1-NGVmcuAeCaqSdpmp6sg

P.S. This chapter is NOT what you think. I'm mean, so mean….. be warned….

PAGE 4

Before she knew it, Suzume found herself getting up, leaving all her things behind and catching up to Shishio, who was holding the door up but facing outside. She could hear the whispers and chatter simmering in the room, which didn't help slow down her heartbeat. This couldn't be happening. It was some sort of surreal dream, it had to be. But as she closed the door and followed Sensei down the corridor, her heels echoing off the floor, she realised that even she couldn't conjure up the hollow voice which asked her to follow him outside. She had never heard him use that sort of tone before, to anyone.

Turning left, Suzume quickly realised that they were entering an empty room. Strangely, this made her remember the time he had found her in that empty classroom, hiding behind the dusty curtain. Suddenly it didn't feel like it was that long ago, although in reality four years had passed…

"Long time no see."

Suzume was sure he had been hoping to sound confident and sensei-like but his voice ended up coming out like a sort of croak, which he quickly covered up with a grunt-like cough before turning around to face her, leaning against the blackboard and folding his arms.

Yep, I'm still fifteen…. thought Suzume as she stared at the man in front of her, hair neat and tidy as always, smiling at her with that slight cockiness which always made her heart race…. Staring at her in a casual, loose manner that somehow made her want to scream.

As she gripped her right hand tightly, sweat slowly rising on her neck, she blinked several times as she stared at Shishio.

That's right.

She suddenly remembered how hurt she had been, four years ago, after he'd stopped writing to her. All she had got was a message from her uncle, telling her that he was letting her go, that he was moving on and so should she… She chose to bottle up those feelings inside and move on in life, leaving behind Chun-Chun and those memories, growing up and maturing, letting go of, what she now regarded as a sick and twisted thing between them, finally finding her place in life, finding something she really wanted to do, writing. Living a healthy and good life. Suddenly she remembered. She remembered that she wasn't fifteen. She was twenty. And different.

And he's a ghost. A ghost she had refused to look at, a phantom she hadn't wanted to see, ever again.

Sensei's tight smile slowly disappeared as Suzume stared, refusing to say anything, and, as his shoulders suddenly sagged and he started to rub his face, she realised just how flustered he was. She should have noticed, knowing sensei, that he was trying to hold a pretence. he continued to stare warily at him as he let out a sigh. He was always a very good liar.

"I feel like I'm in a dream," murmured Shishio finally, staring down at the ground before tilting his head slowly up towards her. "You're right in front of me.."

When she refused to say anything but continued to look at him in an almost cool manner, somehow in a way in which she had never looked at him before, he tried again.

"I didn't know," he blurted out, his hand, which had been hiding his emotions, falling down, finally revealing his real face, which was a mixture of anguish and bewilderment, but also intensity which only seemed to appear when Suzume was in front of him. "I didn't know you'd be here, I swear."

"Why are you apologising?" asked Suzume, her voice surprisingly steady. Inside she laughed cynically, wondering how they had managed to miss out 'hello', 'how are you', and 'sorry I ignored you for four years'.

"I-", stammered Shishio, stepped one foot towards her, his voice, once again not obeying him, coming out as a sort of desperate cry. However, seeing Suzume's indifferent expression, her hair long and slick, no longer the way it used to be, in a ponytail and sticking out in weird places, he stepped back, lowering his gaze and swallowing hard.

"Of course I owe you an apology," he said in a low voice, "I owe you so much more than that. I don't have the time now, but would you meet me later?"

"Why?" came out Suzume's voice, small and fragile. She was losing her cool, after seeing the desperate expression on his face when answering her stupid question. "Why did you stop writing? You moved away from the University in San Francisco a year after you left, but you didn't tell me where you went."

She continued to stare at him as he now stared back at her, both of them wearing the exact same expression, although they were unaware of this.

"I got transferred to a fixed position in a different place, that's all," replied Shishio, his voice monotone, causing Suzume to blink several times.

"But," continued Suzume, unable to stop her feelings from pouring out, the ice which she had been holding on to as a life line ebbing away. "You could have told me, I only heard though my uncle…You didn't try to contact me….. Do you know how you made me feel?!"

The final sentence she more or less yelled, causing the silence which followed after it to seep into their hearts like soot, blackening everything and making it impossible to breath.

"Chun-Chun -"

"Don't call me that, I'm not a child!"

The words flew out of her mouth before she could stop them, her voice once again bold and foreign to Shishio's ears.

He blinked several times before replying, his expression that of pain and hurt which Suzume regretted seeing, knowing she had caused it, perhaps she had ever purposefully used words to hurt. It didn't change the fact however that her comment was true.

"You used to love being called that name," murmured Shishio curtly, looking at her with hidden melancholia behind his casual glance.

"Not anymore, not by you," whispered Suzume.

Silence filled the room as they both stared at the ground. The clock stuck eleven in the background. They had been gone at least half an hour now.

"Why did you leave me?" tried Suzume again, looking up at her ghost, knowing he still hadn't answered her question.

"You know why," said Shishio slowly, his voice shaking as he smiled at her once again, similar to way he looked at her all those years ago when they had parted at the airport. "I couldn't rob anymore of your life. You deserved better, and we both knew it."

Suzume flinched back, tears now forming in her eyes, but just as she was about to retort back-

"Shishio sensei!"

Shishio whipped around to see Hisaishi sensei standing in the doorway, his hand on the doorknob, his fingers tapping on the frame.

"Why have you left your class unattended?"

"I was- I was just-" stammered Shishio, staring at Hisaishi sensei, his mind blank apart from the image of Suzume sleeping on the bench in the park near Yuki's house.

"Your pupil, er, Taichi kun, is it, told me you were gone five minutes…"

"Yes, that's right," spoke Suzume, turning to face the unexpected arrival. "I needed his assistance in finding a classroom, so I knocked on his door. I apologise for disrupting his class."

"I see," spoke Hisaishi sensei, his eyes narrowed. "Well, I suggest you return to your class Shishio sensei. Promptly."

"Right, of course," said Shishio curtly, but still not moving from the spot where he stood.

Hisaishi sensei shook his head in response before sighing heavily and leaning off the door frame and turning away. The door shut with resonating thud before the room was engulfed in the awful silence once more.

"Thank you Chu- Suzume," murmured Shishio, looking back at her once more.

"It would just complicate things further for you, wouldn't it? You don't like complicated, obviously," spoke Suzume, once more filled with a hollowness within herself which was reminiscent of how he had made her feel after he had severed all connections with her.

"Chun-Chun.. I don't understand-" started Shishio, walking towards her, scared by how empty her voice sounded, how lifeless it was…

"Don't you?!" retorted Suzume, her voice hoarse, causing him to stop. They were less than a metre apart now. "Do you know… When you left, I was hollow, empty…. And then I was angry and frustrated… I sometimes wished that I had never come to Tokyo… That I'd never met you at that station that day.… That none of this had ever happened. I was happy as I was, I know that now….. I'm not returning to the class. Don't follow me, good bye."

Not waiting for his reply, Suzume turned away and walked out of the classroom door, running down the long corridor, down the stairs, out through the back exit into the park which was connected to the university campus, before finding the large tree where she often sat to eat her lunch, now deserted, crouched and, leaning against the bark, let out the tears and cries of her sixteen year old self which she had kept buried deep within herself for four years.


	6. Chapter 6

Author's note:

Again, not what you would expect but trust me, my allegiance is true haha…. just a little realistic that's all ;)

PAGE 5

As the lights in the bar dimmed, Yuyuka carefully put her drink down on the coaster and proceeded to fold her hands on to the table. She took a moment to digest the information which had just been presented to her. Actually it was more like stammered and mumbled to her.

"So…" she started, the tone of her voice rather nebulous.

"So…" sighed Suzume in reply, her voice distinctly defeatist as they sat side by side staring at the bartender who continued to work as if he had not heard any of their conversation so far.

"You ran away," said Yuyuka simply. Not in a accusing way, but rather like stating a fact.

"No," retorted Suzume immediately, but she kept her voice down. They were in a calm and peaceful bar after all. "I didn't run away, I left."

"Right…." murmured Yuyuka in return. "And you still don't know why he didn't contact you.."

"No, I know that, he told me," said Suzume, confused as to why her friend was still asking her about the core of her dilemma, when it clearly had been solved.

"Oh, are you referring to 'the robbing of your life' crap," replied Yuyuka, before taking another sip of her drink, staring at Suzume with her eyebrows raised.

"It isn't crap!" said Suzume hoarsely, facing her friend with an incredulous look on her face.

"So you accepted it?" prodded Yuyuka, putting her drink down. "A one line sentence-"

"No of course not! That's why I left!"

This time the bartender did look up but only to refill Yuyuka's drink, which she gladly accepted.

"Ok, ok. Well the point is he's back in your life now," said Yuyuka calmly. When Suzume gave no reply and merely stared at her gin and tonic nonchalantly Yuyuka sighed with exasperation and spoke bluntly.

"You can't ignore it. Not matter how much you stare at that drink of yours."

"He isn't _back in my life_," replied Suzume darkly, taking a swing of her drink. "He left it, isn't that the point? Anyway we're different now, not the same. He just wants to see "Chun Chun" again, not me. When I screamed at his face to not call me that name, it was written all over his face…"

"Oh," stammered Yuyuka, her voice a little dull, before a smirk appeared on her face. " Oh, now I see. That's what you meant."

"Huh?" replied Suzume, momentarily pulled out of her melancholic state of gin staring.

"Suzume, if I were you, I'd let him figure out how he feels about you by himself. That isn't your problem. In the end you won't know for sure what he's thinking, unless he tells you himself. And when I say tell, I mean opens his mouth and speaks to you, not glances at you or sighs or anything else! You always worry about what people think of you Suzume, but you never stop to think about what's actually going on inside _your_ head. You're scared of what you might find."

"Yeah, well, you're scaring me right now," mumbled Suzume before downing her drink in a desperate attempt to make herself feel better.

"Suzume-"

"Yuyuka I know all this. But I just didn't expect that I would in this situation. I know you're right okay?" spoke Suzume, and for whatever reason, tears started to well up in her eyes. Thank goodness for the lights which had been put down low, or Yuyuka would have been able to see her tears or face clearly…

But it wouldn't stop her from hearing it in her voice. "I think I messed up."

"Oh Suzume," replied Yuyuka, noticing her friend's emotions finally breaking free. "Come here.…"

Without waiting for an answer, she pulled her friend towards her and hugged her tightly.

"Listen to me Suzume, it's not too late. And it's not your fault, I was too harsh and critical. If I was in your shoes, to be honest, I couldn't have stopped the anger or hurt either. And knowing how you feel about each other-"

"The feelings of a fifteen year old? Both me and Sensei are older now, Yuyuka, different- That's w- why I'm scared! I'm so scared Yuyuka, when I saw him….. I thought I was seeing a ghost… I'd forgotten that h- he was real…"

"Of course you would, what did he expect! He's just a silly bastard for letting you go like that, it was cowardly! You know what, fuck him, I'll find someone better for you. He doesn't deserve a second chance," replied Yuyuka hotly, feeling rather fired up and now, rather pissed off.

"If you don't mind me saying and, please excuse my language, but from what I have gathered, he sounds like a bit of a shit," spoke the bartender suddenly as Suzume and Yuyuka parted, both now sniffling and drying their eyes.

"Thank you," spoke Yuyuka, accepting the tissues which he passed. He shrugged as if to say, think nothing of it.

"See? There's no need to worry about this," said Yuyuka encouragingly once more as she watched her friend fix herself up.

"You're still right though Yuyuka, I can't leave things as they are. Otherwise I'll still be a stupid fifteen year old who refuses to take responsibility for her feelings."

"Wow Suzume, you've grown up," replied Yuyuka with admiration, her voice totally sincere without a hint of sarcasm.

"So," said Suzume as she sighed deeply and proceeded to smile brightly. "What happened to Mamura that night?"

"Mamura?" spoke Yuyuka with surprise, a little shocked at how the conversation had suddenly shifted gear. "Oh, well he couldn't come because his brother had a little accident at school. He was swimming and accidentally hit his head."

"What? How can that happen?"

"Lost consciousness suddenly, and nearly drowned, bumped his head, who knows why, they're still doing tests."

"I should go see him. He's still in hospital?" asked Suzume, her eyebrows furrowed.

"Of course he is you dimwit," replied Yuyuka with cynicism, which made Suzume smile, knowing that normal Yuyuka was back. "We should go soon."

"How about Saturday?"

"Sounds good. Oh, and Suzume?"

"Hmm?"

"Make sure that Shishio gets it in his head," said Yuyuka, her voice serious and strangely, a little quiet. "If he can't accept the Suzume you are right now, then he has no right to be involved with you, purely pinning for Chun Chun. And I'm sure that there was another reason he stopped writing to you, I'm positive there was an another motive. Oh, and the same goes for you too. Just prepare yourself for what you might find. He might no longer be what you've always remembered him to be."


	7. Chapter 7

Author's note:

Thanks so much guys for the support - this really helps me keep it going! :) I'm glad that you're enjoying it. Currently listening to some jpop while typing - Sakura by Ikimono Gakari, it's quite an angst sad song but it's great for this haha, check it out ;) warning - a little swearing guys, be warned!

Special shout out to Kayla - thank you for your reviews! :-)

PAGE 6

They'd put the past behind them; after all, a man's relationship with his best friend shouldn't be able to sever so easily, and luckily for Shishio, Yukichi was exactly that. A month had already passed since he had come back to Japan, but he still hadn't gotten used being able to see his closest friend within five minutes walk. After all the emails, skypes and calls which had passed between them with the pacific ocean acting as their barrier, Shishio still found it all so surreal, and as if he had been transported back in time. After all, nothing in the place had changed, the spirits were all still there, including the one which had caused that ridiculous accident with Yukichi's elbow and his glasses, so he found himself smirking with nostalgia as he entered Yukichi's old establishment.

"Oh Shishio! I wasn't expecting to see you so soon! After yesterday and er..…" began Yukichi, who was in the process of wiping a wine glass, but stopped with his hand in mid air, now looking guiltily at his friend's fatigued face.

"Yes, well, thanks to you, I woke up this morning having had only three hours sleep and spent my first lecture looking like a blubbering idiot," spoke Shishio, but he was smiling as he shrugged off his coat and sat down.

"Well, I might not have an excuse so I apologise profusely, but you'll have to forgive Tsubomi. Maybe you were too drunk to hear, but she recently got married, so that explains a least a little why she was so jumpy yesterday."

"Married?" questioned Shishio, his eyebrows raised. He'd thought that it would have been quite a while before she'd let anything apart from her career rule her life. "Tsubomi?"

"You sound surprised," observed Yukichi before placing a beer in front of him.

"That's the understatement of the year," said Shishio sarcastically before drinking his beer.

"He's American. They met through work apparently."

"How else," murmured Shishio with a smile.

"Well, I guess it really makes you realise how time's moved on doesn't it?" sighed Yukichi as he picked up another glass.

"It does, doesn't it. Especially when they don't like being called by their nicknames anymore and you meet them for the first time in four years in the middle of a lecture."

Yukichi stopped smiling and put the wine glass down on to the table. Shishio's voice didn't sound right. It was dull, blunt and there was anger hidden under unusual cynicism.

"You met Suzume didn't you," said Yukichi, but he said it plainly, not giving anything away, rather more interested in what Shishio was going to say.

"Unlike you Yuki chan. You don't seem to change," replied Shishio, his voice monotone and his eyes suddenly a shade darker.

"I'm already an adult Shishio. There is, however, a clear difference between a fifteen and nineteen year old-"

"I KNOW THAT!" yelled Shishio suddenly, slamming his drink on to the table.

Yukichi paused, alarm etched on his face as he looked at his friend, his true form abruptly revealed, before continuing to wipe his glass.

"You knew, didn't you," said Shishio, his voice low as he stared down at the table, his frustration finally creeping out. He didn't care if Yukichi was only partially to blame. He wanted a target and he'd found one. Wasn't this part of the job of being a friend? Maybe. Maybe not, but he was too angry, too selfish to care.

"You knew she was there. Why didn't you tell me? Why the _fuck_ didn't you tell me?!"

"Shishio," said Yukichi, his voice strained. "I understand your frustration, but you were gone four years, and I wasn't the one who told you to stop writing. I thought I'd break it to you gently, give you some time to prepare. I couldn't possibly have imagined that you would bump into her on your first day, at such a big university. She doesn't live here anymore, I only see her from time to time. She's an adult now-"

"Yes, I could tell. I have eyes Yukichi, I'm not an idiot."

"I never said you were," murmured Yukichi before taking a deep breath and pouring two glasses of whiskey and switching off half the lights in the bar before sitting down next to Shishio, who now had his head in his hands, his expression hidden under his hair which covered his eyes.

"She was so beautiful," mumbled Shishio. "Different and yet the same. I forgot sometimes and then she'd say something and it was like cold iron hitting my heart..… What am I supposed to do?"

"Suzume isn't the same person you fell in love with, that much I can say. But I'm guessing you figured that out pretty quickly."

Shishio raised his head and pulling one of the glasses of whiskey towards him, but Yukichi stared right ahead, refusing to look the friend sitting next to him. He knew Shishio all too well, and he wouldn't push him.

"I feel the same you know," spoke Shishio finally, his voice a little raw. "I don't feel like I've changed, not really. But she's moved on."

"What did you expect," replied Yukichi warmly. "You think that, but you change all the time, slowly but surely. We all do."

"But of course, I'm an idiot!" said Shishio, his voice oddly bright before giving a odd, cynical laugh which made Yukichi flinch. "I'm the one who let her go! I don't want your sympathy."

"Darkness doesn't suit you Satsuki," warned Yukichi, this time his voice was hard. "You just need to know what happened these past three years, and get to know her again."

"If only it were that easy," said Shishio in return before drinking his whiskey. "You were right you know Yukichi. You were right about me, and her. She was so young, she didn't know what she was doing. She wouldn't have gotten into such a good university if I had stayed, if I'd stayed in touch. She needed time for _herself_, instead of constantly thinking and worrying about someone else. She was always thinking about everything but herself…."

"What do you think she was doing when you left? Did you think that if you left she's forget? You were all she ever thought about."

Though Shishio heard Yukichi's words, they were quickly swept away by what he was really thinking. Guilt. That bitter taste at the back of his throat which was always there whenever he thought of Suzume…. He'd meant what he had said, so why did he feel like this? When he saw Suzume again, he felt like reaching out and taking her back, even though he knew he shouldn't - she wasn't his to take. He'd caused her so much pain already. The best that he could do for her was to leave her alone.

"I'll find another job," muttered Shishio before reaching behind for his coat. "I won't burden you with this depressing talk anymore. Thanks for the drink."

"That's not such an easy thing to do, given the current climate," warned Yukichi, standing up. "You sure that you can throw it all away so easily? You came all the way back here for this position. And even if you do find something else, what are you going to do right now with your situation?"

"I have no idea," replied Shishio, probably the most honest answer he had given to Yukichi so far. "God knows what Suzume's thinking right now."

"Well, I guess I'll need to discuss with you further sometime about what changes I've seen in her," said Yukichi quietly while observing Shishio put on his coat and getting up rather laboriously.

"Yeah, I guess, sometime… I've got to get back for now, I've got another lecture tomorrow."

As the door to his bar shut, the bell ringing feebly before silence settled one more within the room, Yukichi finished his drink, and thought that his friend seemed even more muddled than he had four years ago. He suddenly realised that he had never asked Shishio why he had come in the first place. Looking back at their conversation however, he realised that it would have been a rather silly question to ask.

After all, letting a friend wallow out their honest feelings is part of the contract of being a best friend. Thank god he had more interest in culinary and drink than women.

…..

Throbbing head. Dry mouth. Groggy eyes.

All the usual symptoms. Great.

As Suzume forced herself up, her head supported heavily by her hands, she tried to remember what had happened the night before. Sensei….. Bartender….. A bit of a shit….. Yuyuka…..

"Yuyuka," murmured Suzume before groaning. She'd already missed her first lecture.

Taiji. Lunch. Shit.

At least Yuyuka had brought her home last night.

…..

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry!"

"Somebody was out late last night," said Taiji, smirking, his arms folded as he sat on the bench, observing Suzume running towards him, her hair poking out quirkily from her pony tail.

"Is it that obvious," said Suzume, grimacing as she sat down beside him, warily looking around at the other students walking lazily around in the sunshine and sunbathing on the grass.

"Don't worry, they're all too concerned about themselves to be bothered looking at you," murmured Taiji before pulling out two bento boxes from a paper bag. "You're lucky it was my turn this week."

"I'm glad of it too," replied Suzume before sighing deeply. "I'm quitting the class."

"What-" stammered Taiji, before placing one of the boxes on Suzume's side of the bench. "Why?"

"Because, I can't be there with _him _being there," replied Suzume quietly.

"He's the guy you mentioned once or twice before, isn't he. What exactly happened between you two?"

"It's none of your business."

"Ok," said Taiji lightly, before opening his bento box and snapping his chopsticks in half nonchalantly, knowing that she sat conflicted next to him. He counted in his head five, four, three, two, one….

"We have a little history," blurted out Suzume, while Taiji smiled knowingly, not at her but straight ahead at the fountain in front of them.

"Well I'd say. Everyone was talking about it when you left."

"They know about me and Sensei!" asked Suzume desperately, turning towards her cool-headed friend, who was now munching on rice.

"No, they were just speculating. It was pretty funny to be honest with you. Some people really do have the most wild imaginations."

"Please don't tell anyone!"

"Of course I won't, who do you think I am?! So exciting though.. I never took you to be the sexy type, going off and having affairs with older men!" said Taichi cheekily, a smirk once more appearing on his face.

"I'm not!" retorted Suzume, frowning. "And it wasn't something as shallow as that!"

Taichi laughed before smiling gently. "I'm just lightning the situation Suzume. Drinking away your problems won't solve them, you know that. Hey, you've remembered the party going on tonight right? Our class is coming together to celebrate the start of our second year. Oh, and come a little formally, we've reserved a bit of a fancy place. You're coming right?"

"You're asking me to go out, two nights in a row, to drink? After telling me that drinking won't drown my sorrows?" questioned Suzume, but she was smiling tentatively, teasing her friend.

"I guess so. Only tonight the difference is you'll be with me. You're going to be getting a man's opinion this time and we'll be drunk by then so I'm expecting dirt."


	8. Chapter 8

Author's note: A sad day for us all Shizume fans (weep weep) but may I just say a huge big thank you to Yamamori san for creating the character of Shishio! Of course this isn't the end of him as he will be getting a special chapter in 2015 but I hope I can offer some relief - I feel now more than ever that I should write this now for you guys! I look forward to her next work which hopefully will not be pushed for time and therefore not rushed (which I felt was what happened in the end, regardless of the conclusion to this manga). Anyways, happy reading everyone!

PAGE 7

A floaty black one piece was what Suzume had decided to go with, despite the weather. Waiting in front of the entrance to the campus for her colleagues, she suddenly felt a drop of cold water on her shoulder. Looking up she observed the clouds turning darker and darker. She smiled with relief as she opened her bag and pulled out her folded up red umbrella. Luckily she was waiting under the roof but she could hear the rain pelting down harder and harder onto it. Which explained why she hadn't noticed the door behind her open and close, the newcomer cursing under his breath as he stopped just under the roof, staring, just as Suzume was, at the rain now creating a rather large puddle in front of them.

"Damn it," sighed the man, causing Suzume's eyes to widen and turn her head slightly. It was sensei. He hadn't noticed that it was her and was pulling out a cigarette as he stared tiredly ahead, his hair slightly wet by the water which had drizzled down from the edge of the roof. He had a look of exhaustion about him, as if the sight of the rain had finally put him out.

Suzume looked straight ahead and coughed slightly before speaking.

"Good evening sensei," murmured Suzume, bowing subtly.

Shishio jumped as he swiftly looked to his right, blinking several times, having been completely unaware that the woman in the black dress had been Suzume. Her hair was once more straight and long, and she looked like she was about to go out on a date, and not to an aquarium or amusement park. She really was an adult now…

"Suzume," breathed Shishio, suddenly feeling rather dumb, his mind blank. He had no idea what to say.

"You're wet," said Suzume, her face expressionless which made Shishio smile slightly. At least some things about her hadn't changed. "Do you not have an umbrella ?"

"What? Er, no. No, I forgot that it was going to rain today."

Before he could continue, he found his chest being pressed by her hand and looking down saw a red fold up umbrella being pushed towards him.

Looking up at Suzume, he wore a puzzled expression and gaped at her slightly.

"Um," stammered Suzume, blushing and refusing to look him in the eye as she realised her mistake in abruptly pushing him. "Take it. I'm waiting for friends so it's ok, I'll borrow theirs. "

"That's not necessary, I'll just stay here until it stops," replied Shishio warmly but he looked up at the sky with less than optimistic hopes. It clearly wasn't going to stop anytime soon. He wondered however whether he was just saying that in order to stay under the roof a little longer. Or rather to stay with Suzume a little longer.

"Sensei, it really isn't a problem," prodded Suzume, staring at him.

Shishio looked into Suzume's eyes which seemed to give off absolutely nothing and was suddenly hit with another scenario. Maybe she was trying to get rid of him.

Noticing the way that he was suddenly staring at her with darkened, almost sad eyes, Suzume moved back slightly in surprise. Why did he suddenly look so serious? She had forgotten how temperamental he was, how quickly his moods shifted, how he used to surprise her and make her heart skip a beat. It felt so foreign, out of place to what she was used to from the people around her, to the rhythm and flow of her current life. Mind you, he had always seemed like that to her.

"Suzume," started Shishio, his voice a little rough, "I want to talk to you properly, to explain what happened back then. I'm not asking for an apology, I just want you to understand."

"To understand? I don't think I will ever understand, no matter what you say to me. I became bitter and cynical because of you. What you did wasn't just unforgivable, it was and still is beyond my understanding. We have nothing to say to one another, so please don't try. You'll just cause more pain and discomfort."

"Suzume-" replied Shishio with anguish, yes, with genuine anguish in the tone of his voice, as he reached towards the woman in front of him, wishing for time to rewind itself.

"Suzume!" came a female's voice through the rain, intruding upon the heated conversation, where both Shishio and Suzume were holding onto the red umbrella between them, close enough for Suzume to see the rain droplets on Shishio's hair. Suzume looked up at him not with cynicism or anger, but with surprise and perhaps something else entirely, which Shishio reciprocated, looking down at her with helplessness, questioning her, pushing her not to restrain herself.

Suzume tore her gaze away from the man in front of her and turned to see her colleague, Sakura, staring at her and the university professor, who was standing rather close her, questioningly, frozen to the spot in front of the entrance.

"Oh, Sakura, you're here," said Suzume quickly, pushing the umbrella into Shishio's hands before he could react and bowed towards him formally, which made him grip the umbrella tight in his hand.

"Please use it. You shouldn't catch a cold."

And without another glance, Suzume ran out into the rain, away from the situation and under her friend's umbrella, turning it so that they faced away from the man who stood, unmoving, by the entrance, still staring down at the place where Suzume had stood moments before.

"What was that about?" asked Sakura, looking at her friend with skepticism, who merely stared back blankly.

"Nothing. He had no umbrella."


	9. Chapter 9

Author's note: Sorry for the late update guys, I've been a bit busy lately with exams. I'm at Uni, I didn't tell you that did I? Anyway I just realized how much drinking is involved in this story lol. And there will be more of it in this chapter. Apologises.

PAGE 8

After two hours of speaking to fifty different people whom she didn't really know (University is pretty big so one class is well, big) she finally took a breather and sat herself by the bar with a drink in hand. Socializing was a much more tiring task than she had expected.

"Hey, you," came a voice from behind, causing Suzume to jump and spill her drink.

"Do you mind" she said irritably, staring down at the now wet table.

"I'm sorry, it's just that you were sitting on your own, looking like a hermit who hadn't come out of its cave in fifty years."

"Excuse me?" asked Suzume incredulously, turning to face the rude man who'd just intruded on her serene moment by herself.

Leaning against the table next to her with a smirk on his face was none other than Mamura, his hair no longer ruffled as it used to be in high school but slick, wearing a rather impressive suit. Well, he was studying law. Time really had moved on.

"Mamura", stammered Suzume, a smile appearing on her face. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm here with my, um, well my-", Mamura turned around and gestured towards a pretty brunette who was laughing at a joke being told by her friend sitting next to her in one of the booths.

"New girlfriend?" asked Suzume, smirking.

"Last one didn't last long I guess?"

"No, actually she's an ex," spoke Mamura, looking at his date rather shyly, but almost as if scared that their eyes might meet. "We met coincidentally a couple of weeks ago, and, um, well, year."

Mamura started to rub his neck nervously.

"Some things clearly never change. Are you _still _awkward around women?" asked Suzume, eyeing Mamura knowingly, her eyebrows raised.

"No," replied Mamura firmly, "well, it's not as bad as it used to be, thanks to you."

"Yes that's right - you owe me a lot, in fact you're in my debt," said Suzume with a chuckle, taking a swing of her G and T.

"I do, unfortunately," said Mamura, sitting next to Suzume. "So if you ever need a helping hand, need a lawyer in the future then-"

"Of course, should I ever need one in court I'll let you know," said Suzume with a smile.

"Enough about me, how about you - how's your love life? I saw you with that er - Taiji guy -"

"What? No, no, he's not my boyfriend. I mean he's great, but we're just friends."

"I see," said Mamura rather nebulously, who looked across the bar to see Taiji staring at them, or rather Mamura with a concerned look on his face. "So why have you been sitting here for twenty minutes, your mind clearly somewhere else?"

"What?" blurted Suzume, who's mind had suddenly started going over the strange umbrella scene again that had occurred just over three hours ago.

"Just as I thought," murmured Mamura, who motioned the bartender over. "You're having G and T? Virgin Mary please."

"You're not drinking?"

"No, I've got a test, court case in the morning."

"Busy man," replied Suzume, nodding with approval

"Don't change the subject. If it isn't Taiji, who is he?"

There was a pause in their conversation.

"He came back," said Suzume, her voice wavering a little.

Mamura's hand froze, glass in mid air. He put down his Virgin Mary down with a thud.

"You don't mean **him**? He came back to you?" he asked hesitantly, but with warmth. He no longer held any grudge against his home room teacher, personally, but if he was causing trouble for Suzume again, he couldn't just stand by and watch. He hadn't heard about him for ages.

"No, not exactly," sighed Suzume, staring blankly at her drink. "He's got a job at my university. didn't know I was there of course so we met by accident, in the middle of his first lecture in fact."

"Oh my god," murmured Mamura, a horrified look on his face. "Of all the places."

"Yeah, it was pretty awkward, especially given the fact that we'd lost contact over three years ago when he stopped replying to my letters-"

"Hang on, what?! You told me you broke it off because you'd had enough of the whole long-distance relationship, just before graduation," interrupted Mamura, staring suspiciously at the now frozen Suzume sitting next to him.

"Er," stammered Suzume, gripping her drink tightly. She'd never actually told Mamura the whole story, partly because she knew he'd given up on Suzume, because she knew he'd given up on Suzume, because he was convinced that Shishio would make her happy, not miserable. It would have been cruel and his sacrifice, his effort would have been completely in vain. Suzume gestured towards her gin. She hadn't actually asked for any tonic. "I should never drink this stuff without a mixer."

"Suzume," prodded Mamura slowly, glaring at her.

"Oh, alright," sighed Suzume, sitting back into her chair in defeat. "He stopped replying to me. letters got re-directed, his phone number had changed. He moved away but he never told me where."

"Bastard," spoke Mamura hoarsely. "Why didn't you tell me?"

Suzume looked up at Mamura with a weak smile.

"Because I didn't want to cause you anymore pain. You let me go because you were convinced that he was the better guy-"

"Oh no, I never thought that for a second," replied Mamura nonchantly, having a gulp of his tomato juice.

"What?" stammered Suzume, looking at Mamura in shock, who merely sat calmly, gesturing the bartender for another drink.

"He was never going to be a good guy Suzume," spoke Mamura, almost serenely. "But I realized that in the end none of that mattered. the difference was that you loved him, in a way that you couldn't have for anyone else."

"Well, he was the first guy I fell-"

"No, it's not just that," interrupted Mamura. "I think he was always much more than that. More than either of you cared to admit, I think."

"Huh, well, it's not like that anymore. I gave him a good bashing after seeing him again."

Mamura laughed.

"So you've toughened up. that's good to know. Must have been a shock to the system though, for him, seeing you, an adult and all."

"Well, he's just my professor now," murmured Suzume quietly, wanting to move off the subject.

"Wait a minute. did he explain himself, about what had happened back then?"

Suzume closed her eyes before taking a big breath.

"Ok, I'll say it fast. our first conversation was a disaster-"

"Hardly a surprise," butted in Mamura, causing Suzume to send him a deadly stare.

"Ok, ok, sorry."

"He told me he let me go because I was better off without him, that I needed to move on and experience "life"." Suzume gestured speech marks with her fingers in the air.

"And?" prodded Mamura, frowning. when Suzume started blankly back at him, he frowned some more. "That's it?"

"Well, at that point I was pretty much screaming at him so the conversation ended quite quickly," spoke Suzume in a monotonous tone.

"Right, so you don't have the full story," replied Mamura skeptically.

On the other side of the room Taiji had been speaking to his classmate Ayano.

"Er, Ayano, who's that guy that Suzume has been talking to?" asked Taiji. They seemed suddenly rather solemn, and he almost didn't recognize the depressed looking Suzume, who, he was pretty sure, wasn't drinking that hard spirit in her glass with any tonic.

"That's my boyfriend. he and Suzume were at high school together. They're great friends, I see her often. actually they dated a little casually for half a year," spoke Ayano, smiling pleasantly.

"And you don't mind being around his ex?" asked Taiji with surprise, taking a swing of his beer.

"No, not at all. I trust him. I mean, even I'm an ex, and I just met up with him recently again - woah, hang on, have YOU got a thing for her?!"

"Wh- What? no, no of course not. we're friends. good friends," stammered Taiji.

"Uh huh," replied Ayano, not buying one word, of what he'd just said.

"You need to let him speak. Let him speak, explain himself, and if it's still all bullshit then, that'll be it forever. you'll reach some sort of closure, and then, and only then, can you finally walk away freely," spoke Mamura in a warm voice.

Suzume took a moment to respond.

"No, you're right. I deserve to know, or I'll never get over this twisted thing between us."

"Exactly. Problem is if you meet him-"

"I thought I was over it," spoke Suzume suddenly, her voice fragile and quiet, head resting against the table.

"Surprise, surprise," spoke Mamura gently.

"I heard about your brother, I'm sorry," spoke Suzume.

"Nah, he's okay, just got silly in the swimming pool."

"Nevertheless, can I go see him?"

"Sure, whenever you want," replied Mamura sympathetically, raising Suzume from the table, and wiping the mascara from under her eyes with his thumb. "You're looking very pretty tonight by the way. I betcha he was she'll shocked when he saw you again, probably feeling like the biggest idiot in the world for having let you go."

"He better 've," mumbled Suzume, her eyes closed, feeling a little unsure of where the ground was and whether gravity had suddenly been switched off. Mamura chuckled in response.

Onse, but his smile slackened as he gestured towards Taiji and Ayano to help him get Suzume off the barstool and get her to a taxi.

A massive hangover was to follow for Suzume in the morning.


End file.
